Measuring What Matters
I recently had the opportunity to be a part of an Accountability Group - for lack of better term - with six other individuals in my profession. We met weekly for seven weeks, and we were each tasked with identifying One Thing we wanted to make significant improvement on over the course of seven weeks. It didn’t have to be career-related - just something specific we each wanted to achieve.
Each week during our standing meeting, we would each be held accountable for the “micro-actions” we said we would take the week prior that would move us one step closer toward our end goal. The accountability from the members of the group consisted mostly of encouragement, but - if needed - could include a loving but stern kick in the pants.
Six members of the group had a very objective task they were hoping to complete. One member wanted to make significant progress on a book she was writing. Another member wanted to fully document and implement a process that needed polishing inside his business. Yet another member wanted to finalize a course he had been building and hoped to launch at the end of the seven weeks. Each of these Things - for the most part - required next steps that were easily identifiable and simple to measure. The completion of one step quickly revealed the next action needed to inch closer and closer to the finish line.
I, on the other hand, didn’t necessarily have a Thing I wanted to accomplish. Instead, it was a certain type of person I wanted to become. There were areas in my life I wanted to strengthen, certain qualities I wanted to exhibit more of, and previous areas of focus that I wanted to become less important to me.
Not only was this pretty difficult - if not impossible - to do in a seven-week period, but I found it to be very challenging to measure my progress each week. While other members of the group would report back on the successes or struggles they had in accomplishing their micro-actions from the week prior, I often questioned if I was making any meaningful progress and wondered what action I was supposed to take next.
Noticing that I was leaving each meeting somewhat discouraged, one member of the group took the time to send some much-needed encouragement my way.
His message to me was that the most important things in life are often the most difficult to measure. And the things that can easily be measured may or may not be all that important at the end of the day.
I knew he was spot on the minute he shared that with me. Yet, as I’ve thought about his words repeatedly over the several months have passed since that conversation, I’ve realized even more how right he is.
For example, one can perform a simple calculation to compute their net worth, and then compare that figure to the previous quarter or to the previous year to measure their progress. Pretty simple and can be done in a matter of minutes.
Is someone’s net worth important? Sure, to some degree. But what does that figure actually communicate about them as a person and the various roles in which they serve? What does it say about them as a spouse? As a parent? As a friend? As a member of the community?
Even then, how do we even measure success in each of those roles?
As a parent, I suppose you could survey each of your kids to ask them if you are “doing a good job” parenting them. But the endless qualities that actually make up a loving parent - the sacrifices you make for your children, the patience you must have on a daily basis, entering into their world each day rather than just existing inside of it - are often unseen and difficult to quantify. More so, these qualities likely won’t even resonate with your children until much later in life when they are more mature and, perhaps, have children of their own.
You can measure your net worth against those across the world to see where you stack up. But there’s no central data base to tell you where you rank as a parent.
The same can be said for just about any meaningful role or identity we have — spouse, friend, neighbor, employee, teammate, etc. There are the “surfacey” metrics that society uses to define good or good enough in each of these areas. However, the intangibles that lead to lasting impact are the ones we should spend the most time nurturing.
Acts of kindness performed.
Pursuit of passions.
Asking someone if they need something.
Connecting with others.
Learning new things.
We often focus on the areas of life that can easily be measured, yet don’t spend nearly enough time pursuing things that are difficult to calculate. Perhaps it’s because we tell ourselves that the measurable things are the ones most worthy of sharing on social media. Or because we feel the need to be able to compare ourselves to others, which can only be done if there is a metric by which something can be measured. Or maybe we’ve just never taken the time to stop and think about it.
Regardless of the reason, let’s strive to relentlessly pursue the things in life that are hard to measure. By doing so, we’ll continually chase after them — because when something can’t easily be measured, there is no real finish line.
